Sometimes, married life may become extremely stressful and
the couple may find it miserable to live together. When this happens, some
couples wish to have a trial separation which may help to work through the
difference between both the partners. In some cases, separation is prohibited
by cultural or religious rules and they prefer to live apart though legally
remaining married. The question is that can separation save a marriage and does
it really work?
There two ways of marriage separation, either informal
separation or legal separation. Generally, informal separation is what you both
agree by a mutual understanding. There is a formal division of the property,
arrangements about possession of cars, credit cards and bank accounts. A legal,
formal separation is more complicated, permanent and expensive. People
undergoing the process of legal separation go through time, pain and expense.
Generally, separation is not the first step to save a
marriage. Many couples first try to participate in marital counseling which may
help to work through the differences. Some couples seek out an advice from the
friends, family or religious leaders. Many people are successful in resolving
their marital problems after participating in couple retreats or marriage
seminars.
Along with these options or after trying these options, the
couples choose a trial separation. Now, you will wonder can separation save a
marriage; is it an appropriate way to save a marriage? Yes, it may be helpful
as it gives an opportunity to both the partners to experience the feelings of
being separated before taking any final decision. The major advantage of trial
separation is that it is reversible.
During the period of trial separation, you may go through
marital counseling, think over it and then take the final decision. This
separation period gives you ample time to think about your differences, your
mistakes, problems in your married life and ways to resolve them.
An absence of daily bickering and conflicts may be an
effective answer to the question can separation save a marriage. Due to a lack
of proximity, there is absolutely no chance for conflicts. Both the partners
get enough time to think over their marital problems. Most of the marital
problems originate from fear, ego or stubbornness. Resolution is possible as long
as one partner wishes to keep trying.
The main purpose of trial separation is to develop the
skills of resolving the problems before moving back together and working on
improving the relationships. For a couple, a planned separation can be a good
time to think, to analyze, to reflect, to calm down and cool off. It helps to
make thoughtful decisions and thus work to save a marriage.
In some cases, separation may be unplanned and there may be
no plans for marriage counseling, no tentative time-line for separation and no
guidelines agreed about seeing others. Hence, before you think about
separation, talk with each other about the individual goals of separation. Both
should be ready for seeking individual and joint counseling during the
separation period.
The answer to the question ‘can separation save a marriage’
lies within the person himself/herself; you need to realize how important your
spouse is in your life and how life may be without him/her.
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